


I'm Covering My Ears Like A Kid

by iongnadh



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Basically Deceit Is A Bad Guy And Virgil Suffers, Bittersweet, But Then He Remembers His Real Family, Cognitive Distortions, Doubt, Drabble, Family Drama, Family Feels, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt, Implied abuse, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vomiting, not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 17:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13839972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iongnadh/pseuds/iongnadh
Summary: "He should be over this already! Deceit barely even spoke to him and he hadn't even touched him or anything of the sorts! Why was he being affected like this? It's Patton or Roman or even Logan that should be acting like this and deserved comfort right now, not worthless anxiety!"





	I'm Covering My Ears Like A Kid

**Author's Note:**

> Title: I'm Covering My Ears Like A Kid [La La La by Naughty Boy ft. Sam Smith]
> 
> Relationship(s): Past Implied Deceit Sanders/Virgil Sanders
> 
> Character(s): Virgil Sanders, Mentions Of Deceit Sanders, Mentions Of Patton Sanders, Mentions Of Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders
> 
> Warning(s): Anxiety Attacks, Past Relationships, Implied Abuse, Vomit (Not Graphic), Etc.
> 
> Summary: He should be over this already! Deceit barely even spoke to him and he hadn't even touched him or anything of the sorts! Why was he being affected like this? It's Patton or Roman or even Logan that should be acting like this and deserved comfort right now, not worthless anxiety!
> 
> Beta Reader: He-Wander (Wattpad)

Virgil sunk out and ran to his room before the other's could notice and stop him. He needed to be alone, they couldn't see him like this. Deceit's words rang throughout his head and he covered his hands over his ears, trying to block out as much noise as possible. He couldn't stop shaking and his chest ached as he struggled to breathe in and out evenly.

Hot shame and disgust overtook his thoughts as he curled up in the farthest corner of his room. He should have seen it coming, he should have known Deceit wouldn't just let him be, he shouldn't have been caught so off guard. All Virgil had wanted was to forget him, forget all his words, all his touches, he should know better than to be so hopeful (he was the embodiment of anxiety for Christ sake)!

"Come on Virgil don't let him get to you, don't let him-" A sob shook throughout Virgil's entire body, interrupting his mantra. A part of him wanted to run to the others and beg for comfort and protection from his own thoughts, but another part knew the others wouldn't understand and could just as easily make the situation worse.

He should be over this already! Deceit barely even spoke to him and he hadn't even touched him or anything of the sorts during the whole ordeal! Why was he being affected like this? It's Patton or Roman or even Logan that should be acting like this and deserved comfort right now, not worthless anxiety!

Virgil suddenly runs up to his bathroom and barely makes it to the toilet before he loses his lunch. His throat burned but it felt like a blessing as he actually felt something other than the phantom touches of Deceit. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) it didn't last long and soon Virgil's stomach settled enough to where he was sure he wouldn't throw up anymore.

He went back into his previous position, curled up in a tight ball but this time he was leaned up against the bathtub on the cold bathroom floor. He has no intentions in moving anytime soon but in the back of his mind he knew his muscles would punish him later and he could practically hear the lecture he would be getting for it by the other sides.

The other sides? He had ran away from them without explanation, yet no one has checked up on him, not even Patton? New tears formed in Virgil's eyes, he had been so focused on Deceit that he hadn't even noticed the unusual absence. The others always checked up on him ever since they officially made him a member of their little family.

Virgil went to get up, his bones aching as he did. He had to go and check up on them, make sure they were okay. But what if they didn't want him around? Maybe they know what he is now and don't trust him? That's why no one has checked up on him, that has to be the reason why...

"Remember Virgil cognitive distortions is a part of you but there are ways of thinking through it. Your "fight or flight" instincts may cause you to jump to a conclusion but you need to make sure that you take a step back and think rationally about your situation." A new more welcomed voice ran through Virgil's head. Just the other day him and Logan were talking again about Virgil's issues with cognitive distortions.

Take a step back, take a deep breath, then think it through. Virgil thought to himself as he attempted to get his breathing back under control. They probably thought he wanted to be alone, he did run out of there pretty quick. Or maybe he wasn't the only one that wanted to be alone right now, it had been a stressful day for them all after all.

As Virgil went and sat on his bed and thought it through he felt himself calm down just a tinsy bit (he'd have to thank Logan later). He knew that he wouldn't fully calm down until he saw the others but he dreaded seeing them and having his worst fears realized. Just as he got the courage to get up and make his way out of the room there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, Steve-End Of The Universe! We've been trying to give you some space but we're all pretty worried about you! If you want me to leave then I will but I'd like an audible confirmation so I know you're alright!" It was Roman's enthusiastic voice (though a hint of sadness was held in his tone) and Virgil couldn't help but smile as he went up to open the door and see his family.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello little tea cups! I'm kind of scattered brain right now so sorry if it shows! I had to take some breaks while in the middle of writing which always seems to make me lose my rhythm but hopefully it isn't too bad! Originally this was gonna be all angst but I just couldn't go through with it and I had to have some sort of happy ending at the end! Thank you for reading!


End file.
